Almost Hot Mom - Wholefoods

 You looked like you’d just climbed out of bed—and dear God, you were perfect. Messy bun, yoga pants, oversized hoodie, zero makeup, and still: stunning. Effortless. Like you’d woken up, dodged a high-schooler's meltdown, and still managed to radiate something electric. You're dangerous. 

I was the dorky guy with his jaw near the floor, loitering near the citrus, doing my best not to stare while pretending to inspect limes. You caught me. I panicked. Smiled. You didn’t. Still totally worth it.

If by some cosmic glitch you read this and think, “Was that me?”—it was.

I’d love to buy you a drink or give you half my stuff.

 One condition: wear the hoodie.

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Photo credit: Wonderlane from Seattle, USA, CC BY 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

"You Stayed To Save His Heart While Breaking Mine"

 I miss you.

 We met on a gig and I liked you a lot but you had a boyfriend. I didn't think I had a chance until one of our flights when a guy sitting next you was hitting on you the whole time. When the plane landed he asked you out and you gave him your number. That shocked me as I knew you had a boyfriend. After seeing this it gave me the confidence to ask you out. You were shy and hesitant at first but we hit it off as we talked for hours by the hotel pool on our last night on the out of town gig. When we got back to LA, a couple days passed and you texted me and said you would go on that date. We went for drinks somewhere in West LA. The waitress thought we were so cute together as we talked and held hands. I told her how lucky I was to be holding hands with such a beautiful woman for the first time. She couldn't believe this was our first date. We kissed each other that night by our cars. After our "first date" we would get together for drinks or lunch or go on hikes and afterwards you'd come over to my place and we would make love. We did this for a long time. It was amazing. I always wanted you to leave him but you didn't want to break his heart. I wonder if you knew you were breaking mine? Time passed... and we eventually lost contact. Wish our paths would cross again. I miss you.

You Had Me At Turtle Tattoo!

 Wow. Words couldn’t describe how handsome you were. I was in a rush when I walked in and you turned around when I walked in. You were like to a t just eye catching. You were being helped by the teller. I couldn’t stop staring at you. You had the sickest ink. I noticed you noticed my ink too. You were so unique though. 

We looked at each other again when you left. I smiled at you and really wanted to say something. I really wanted to tell you how handsome you were. You probably have a girlfriend anyways. If you don’t and you see they. What’s up. Hmu! I’d love to see you again. Maybe same time same place next week!? Or if you happen to see this just reply back. You probably won’t though. 

Lingering you are in ME

I went to Central Elementary in West Bend..
I was in kindergarten. It was crazy how my mind worked back than because I always had this feeling you might have liked me. One day Mrs. Bradley wasn't there and we all had to go to a different class. And for some reason that scared me I was crying pretty bad. But there you were comforting me "it's ok" "don't cry". 
My memory since than is blurry. I don't even remember your name. Just remember the sound of you soft voice telling me everything was going to be ok. People rareley comforted me when I was younger. I wonder how you been. If you stayed in West Bend or left long ago?
I wish you well.
Sincerely, me.

I Just Can't Hate You

I cant believe after all this time an all you did, I'm still not over you. You have no idea the dark places you caused me to venture. An now I'm stuck in this purgatory on earth. Do you truly love him? Not sure you'll get this but I think of you every single day. I hope your doing well. I wish I could hear from you. I'll always love you. 

DOWNWARD SPIRAL

You were so Stunning...so lovely....our love was sacred...but I wasn't going to share you...Fuck that...I left after your attempts to triangulate me....you split....then you let the "liar " out and the "asshole" out of your head....I'm quoting....you left me no choice as you said you needed space...your suicide gestures....your homicide gestures...shopping for handguns...stopping your meds..you ducking traumatized me...and when I shared with your "friend/employee" and mom's boyfriend your hasty gestures out of humanity and concern and love....you lied and filed.....Fuck you...I loved you...but Fuck you...your a liar and a facist

- Stranded in Desperation; Stanley.

Bonnie's Lament.... (Girl, He's Just Not That Into You)

I never meant to hurt you. I still don't think I did. I think I hurt your pride more than anything. I didn't make your situation worse. I only made it honest. I only made it easier for you to leave a bad situation for a better one.

You weren't happy in a lot of ways and I gave you what you needed and wanted to be happy. You said I did in so many ways. I never thought honesty would come crashing down so hard and cripple me from the inside.

I think about you every day and it's killing me. I see your face on every man that I pass. Your smell lingers in my room and on the tip of my nose.

Your taste lingers on every breath I take. Your smile shines through the darkness of night and haunts me. The memory of your laugh haunts me because I want to hear it again.

The memory of your touch depresses me because I don't want anyone else to touch me that way. You touched my body, my heart, my mind and my soul in ways no one else ever has or ever will. I will never allow anyone else to.

The way you looked at me was a way that no man ever had before. Your eyes mesmerized me every time you looked at me.

Your kiss was fiery and passionate and fed my soul, leaving no part of me untouched. The cute gap in between your teeth made me smile and think about what a beautiful imperfection it was, but it was mine to love.

I still love you and miss you. I don't know if I'll ever get over you. You stole my heart. You broke my heart. You stole my happiness and I can't be happy with anyone else.

Please come back to me. You said you weren't a bad guy. But you left things so badly. It kills me that we didn't talk about it.

My heart, in a million pieces, is trying to mend, but I need closure. I need to know what was so wrong about being honest about everything. You didn't want to be in that situation, so why was it so hard to leave it behind? At least I never lied to you or cheated on you or hurt you.

All I ever wanted was to love and care for you in ways no one else ever had and provide for you all the things that you couldn't physically or emotionally provide for yourself. I wanted to shower you with love and hope.

I love you and always will for the rest of my life. Someday you will look back and realize what could have been should have been. We could have been, should have been, and still should and can be.

Forever your Bonnie