Bonnie's Lament.... (Girl, He's Just Not That Into You)

I never meant to hurt you. I still don't think I did. I think I hurt your pride more than anything. I didn't make your situation worse. I only made it honest. I only made it easier for you to leave a bad situation for a better one.

You weren't happy in a lot of ways and I gave you what you needed and wanted to be happy. You said I did in so many ways. I never thought honesty would come crashing down so hard and cripple me from the inside.

I think about you every day and it's killing me. I see your face on every man that I pass. Your smell lingers in my room and on the tip of my nose.

Your taste lingers on every breath I take. Your smile shines through the darkness of night and haunts me. The memory of your laugh haunts me because I want to hear it again.

The memory of your touch depresses me because I don't want anyone else to touch me that way. You touched my body, my heart, my mind and my soul in ways no one else ever has or ever will. I will never allow anyone else to.

The way you looked at me was a way that no man ever had before. Your eyes mesmerized me every time you looked at me.

Your kiss was fiery and passionate and fed my soul, leaving no part of me untouched. The cute gap in between your teeth made me smile and think about what a beautiful imperfection it was, but it was mine to love.

I still love you and miss you. I don't know if I'll ever get over you. You stole my heart. You broke my heart. You stole my happiness and I can't be happy with anyone else.

Please come back to me. You said you weren't a bad guy. But you left things so badly. It kills me that we didn't talk about it.

My heart, in a million pieces, is trying to mend, but I need closure. I need to know what was so wrong about being honest about everything. You didn't want to be in that situation, so why was it so hard to leave it behind? At least I never lied to you or cheated on you or hurt you.

All I ever wanted was to love and care for you in ways no one else ever had and provide for you all the things that you couldn't physically or emotionally provide for yourself. I wanted to shower you with love and hope.

I love you and always will for the rest of my life. Someday you will look back and realize what could have been should have been. We could have been, should have been, and still should and can be.

Forever your Bonnie